you will never know how much i missed you.

you will never know that i used to wake up with your name on the tip of my tongue and mind - just hanging in the space of everything, like dust and molecules floating in the air... invisible but present.

you will never know that i recently started writing you letters in cyberspace - a place to voice my thoughts in penance.

you will never know that i still think of you with the sorrow of someone who in hindsight understands loss.

you will never know that sometimes, late at night, i imagine that you are here with me and that our lives had turned out differently.

last night i remembered you again. i was with someone else but for a second, i imagined he was you... and it made me happy. silly me.

you will never know, but it's time to let go.