Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I continue to struggle with my negativity. It's what I like to view as my critical mind, or the thing that allows me to differentiate between those people who are asses and those who are just idiots, but I guess that's me going all negative again. Anyway I had another epiphany, of which I seem to be having lots lately, about this thing called Life. It came to me again, through a series of events, that the main work I've got to get done here is to learn to enjoy and experience things.

Instead of obsessing over the outcome or feeling badly that things are not what I perceive as perfect, I need to start seeing what is happening right now at this time as all I need. Perfect is as perfect does. Or, no, that's not what I meant. But, well something like that.

I guess the main thing is, I feel ready to shed the skin and outer layer of cynicism. I feel ready to cast off my hard shell and to look at the world again with fresh eyes. With a positive and wide-eyed wonder that I lost. I feel ready to embrace myself and to be finally, after all, this time, totally happy with what I have... without feeling like, if only.

Happy is as happy does.

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