It's going to happen very soon. It's kind of scary.

Someday I will no longer be certifiably young. Maybe it's happened already. In slow imperceptible ways, I'm not moving as quickly as I used to; I'm taking longer to recognize songs on the radio; I'm no longer like, OMG I have to buy that latest jacket at H&M. Now it's like, OMG, who would buy that jacket? It is freakin' scary to think that I'm passing through a stage of life into another one.

I remember (not as if it were yesterday because it was actually pretty long ago) that I was just 12 years old and doing a sleep-over at my friend's house. It was one of those huge sleepover parties with a ton of 12 yr old girls just talking about crap, watching tv, and honestly, I don't remenber but I do think we slept. Boytalk, makeup, and clothes. Scary urban legends... only back then we didn't call them that. I remember eating pizza for breakfast. My mom said that whenever she picked me up from these girls' events, I would put on attitude. I remember feeling like I had to go through two worlds: the young and spoiled world of these friends; and the still-struggling, old-fashioned world of my family.

I feel like that now. I feel like I'm straddling two worlds. Well actually I may be passing this world for the next one soon. I'm officially entering into middle-age. Isn't late 30s considered no longer young? I'm freakin' scared. And maybe because I'm so scared, I sometimes find myself holding on, really really tightly, to the old world that I used to know...